...is an ideologically led show by a 7 month old, which promises to be more coherent than Glenn Beck's show:

...because they are trying to be vampires.

( Halloween pics, anyone? )

Internet, we went 24 days without a kitchen sink. But tonight that all changed and I even transformed our dirty dishes into clean dishes without washing them in the utility tub in the basement. Guys, the dishwashing machine is once again fully operational. Progress is being made. The subway tile backsplash needs to be installed and then we move to tiling the floor. To celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary next month the missus and I might be giving each other secksay cupboards. We're romantical like that.

We were invited to a party scheduled for tomorrow, and when I told our hostess that I'd have to leave early for a gig in downtown Gran' Drapids she decided to have her party proceed to my gig at the appropriate time. She changed her plans so I wouldn't have to miss anything. Guys, how fricken cool is that? The answer: pretty fricken cool.


Also, anyone with the sniffles automatically has H1N1. My children are enjoying a SIX DAY WEEKEND. Yes, they went to school on Monday and the school has been closed ever since. Do I get a refund on tuition for two children and four days? Answer: no.

The kitchen demolition and reconstruction is proceeding. The floor cabinets have been ripped out, replaced, and the marble counter top is almost finished. The back splash will be started soon and then we'll seal the cabinets and tile the floor. Then we'll rip out the cupboards and replace those as well. None of this is news to the FaceBooks people, but now you can see some proof of the missus' and her father's arduous labors:

Here are the pics!

Last week when everyone was attacking the president for winning an award he wasn't seeking we had one of those moments when Pat Buchanan was the lone voice of reason. Though, it might surprise you that it happens more often than you'd think. Pat is part of why I love the MacLaughlin Group.

Have you ever been approached by a coworker about selling AmWay? Let me tell you, there is something worse.

This morning I was going into the 10,000 square foot cooler at work to hit up a sale of items that had to go. As I was walking into the cooler one of the warehouse guys asked me about politics. I live in a heavily conservative area, which means that I am automatically a Commieleftisthippy because I don't adhere to William Kristol's ideology. So the guy asks me if I know about how our president was elected by Wall Street and how Wall Street and the Federal Reserve are running the world. "Hell, they understand money and I don't. More power to them," was my response. Then I was asked if I knew about the Council of Foreign Relations and various other groups identified over the years as bad for America by the John Birch Society and Lyndon LaRouche. He seemed a little crest fallen when I said that I could barely stomach The Obama Deception on YouTube, calling it worse than any Michael Moore hack job. He also start up on some Birther crap saying, "We'll never know where Obama was born." I told him that we know where he was born and that the Republican governor of Hawaii confirms that the president was born in Hawaii. "Well, it's not all resolved," he continued. He looked annoyed when I told him that it had, in fact, been resolved.

So I'm looking for flour tortillas and English muffins in a 40 degree environment and the guy keeps coming back trying to convince me that we're slipping into socialism and that we need to wake up to what's going on. I let him know that America hasn't had pure capitalism since the middle 1800s, but he keeps going on and on, wondering why an otherwise intelligent looking guy such as myself isn't buying it. I as trying to buy refrigerated but had to give up because I was getting interrupted for conspiracy theories.

It was my fault for wearing glasses to look smart.

This advice goes out to all of the fellas and maybe a few of the ladies out there:

see more Epic Fails

Over the past few weeks we've been accumulating pieces for our kitchen. Cupboards, floor tiles, counter top tiles, the will to do this... Anywho, tomorrow we'll begin the demolition. The counters and floor cupboards will get ripped out, and hopefully we'll have a chance to start laying the floor tiles. The missus' father has done whole house restoration/renovation many times and he is helping us with this project.

We still need to stockpile the wall cupboards, but right now our garage cannot hold any more kitchen related items. But that part of the project will be involved enough because the wall cupboards were probably built into the kitchen in the early 1950s. They go all the way to the ceiling and the walls will require much patching before the new cupboards go in. OH JOY.

One of the coolest things to happen in Gran' Drapids since Phil Collins played two nights in a row at the new arena is going on right now. I'm talking about Art Prize. Guys, I am for serious on this.

Yesterday we had a bit of time between a birthday party and seeing a friend's band play (at a non-affiliated Art Prize gallery) to take in some of what is going on. This event is huger than Festival of the Arts and it is actually focused on art. I enjoyed seeing the photography collection entitled "Everyday Wonder Woman." There was a man on stilts in a costume that resembled an Ent going to Mardi Gras advertising for an acrobatic school that is starting up in the area. We saw a life sized whale done in wood and clay in an art gallery. Kinetic sculptures are everywhere. There are huge sculptures in the Grand River and on top of the foot bridges. People, this is super cool.

Check out this news item regarding our own Nessie:

I am aware that Kanye West did something goofy at the Mtv awards show last weekend, but have no idea what it was. Sure, I could look it up but his antics couldn't be greater than my surprise that Mtv is still around, much less still paying to put on an awards show. I am a little surprised that Mr. West is still around. He initially became famous for his music and then fell into the trap of remaining famous solely because of his fame (just look at the career arcs of Lindsey Lohan and Britney Spears). The fact that he needed Mtv to get our attention is pretty weak. The fact that Mtv needs Kanye West's personality, not his music, to get our attention is even weaker. Perhaps he has gone bonkers while still trying to deal with the death of his mother. Sometimes an event happens that makes us question if there is any justice in this world, which explains the tea bagger parties in DC last weekend. Kanye's mom died during cosmetic surgery and Joan Rivers is still alive. Some challenges arise because the universe wants to see if we can over come a hurdle, yet some people cannot get past the hurt and need attention, instead of creative energy, as a substitute for love.

Here is where I put on my Old Man Withers hat and tell you about things back in my day. When Mtv started out there was an actual scarcity of music videos. The medium was so new that they played whatever they could get. And if you wanted to see a new music video you had to sit in in front of your television all day because they showed music videos all day and night but rarely showed a video more than twice in a day. I spent the summers of 1983 and 1984 inside and watching Mtv. Spike Lee will tell you a story, but I remember seeing "You Dropped A Bomb On Me" on Mtv long before Run-DMC had videos.

Then in 1988 Mtv was purchased by Viacom and left it alone for almost 18 months. Part way through 1989 the Music Television channel started showing stand up comedy in the evenings. In 1990 they debuted "The Real World." Mtv's original programming had nothing to do with music. Then the Music Television Movie Awards shows began. They also stated showing videos in heavy rotation, which meant they would show "Enter Sandman" 9 times a day when maybe 14 hours a day was dedicated to showing videos. By 1996 I cancelled when Univision was the only channel I liked even though I don't speak or understand Spanish. I hear that Mtv had a separate channel devoted to music. Why does that sound messed up?

Mtv decided to not get viewers by showing music videos but by providing non-Mtv created content (honestly, in 1983 we all thought Mtv made the videos) and more and more of that content had little to do with music. These days, if you want to see a music video you can go to YouTube and see anything you want instantly. Or you can go to a band's web site because that is where the music is. Do I care what celebrities are up to? If so, I can scan the headlines at the grocery store checkout.

The music you probably love the most isn't available on Mtv. Young people today watch YouTube on the telephones, which makes me wonder why Mtv is still around, and why any serious musician would to hitch their career to that falling star.

The music you probably love the most isn't shown on Mtv.

...via Glennn Beck

We're getting the house ready for autumn here at Casa la Bayes. After working in the garage today the Boy and I rode our bikes to get ice cream. This evening we're partying like rock stars by canning two bushels of pears we received from our neighbors down the street. The pears were a reward for the rhubarb-strawberry pie and rhubarb crisp that the missus delivered to them. We're on a food exchange program with some really cool people.

Tomorrow we are going to be ironic like hipsters by not laboring at all. My in-laws have parked their RV at a campground 25 miles from here and we'll have the kids swim in the pool at the campground.

How are you celebrating Labor Day? Probably doing what I normally do, which is confuse it with Memorial Day.

Guys, I want a Murphy house. Think of a Murphy bed and apply it to EVERYTHING. Murphy dinning room table. Murphy couch. Murphy coffee table. It would be soooooo amazing.

Imagine walking into a bare area. Your band could set up and play. An inflatable pool table could be brought in for hours of fun. Set up a huge model train set. Then put it all away and from your walls pull down your bed, love seat, ironing board, and washing machine. I get all tingly just thinking about it!

Whoa, I suddenly had a third grader and a forth grader. Most school kids in Michigan will be starting school after Labor Day, but I pay a school to take my kids off our hands a few days earlier.

Guys! I'm still sporting some sunburn from Tuesday's trip to Michigan's Adventure. The kids rode some of the rides, but all they really cared about was the water park. I am a delicate flower who's feet rarely touch bare concrete. So you can imagine the big azz blister that formed, and tore open, while walking around for hours in the water park. Most of the sunburn landed on me since I'm the chubby old dude but the kids ended up with just a little extra color. A great time was had by all and we managed to miss the rain that settle over the state for the remainder of the week.

Oh, and I am on day 26 of A Month Without Shaving. This isn't a movement, just taking a break from a chore that I do not enjoy.

Last night I was at the Chickenfoot show at the Five-Thirds Ballpark north of town. Chickenfoot is comprised of Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony, Joe Satriani, and Chad Smith. Corporate Rock veterans blah-blah-blah. These four dudes have formed a band that isn't based upon paying for their retirements. I know this because the out-the-door ticket price was $34.95. You couldn't get a seat at the Police or Van Halen on their recent victory laps last year.

So how many concerts do you go to in a year? I'm not talking how often you experience live music, but how many concerts can you afford to attend? Three a year? One a year? Guys, I saw Kings of Leon last February for under $40 and I was vaguely aware of who they were before the show and now I'm a fricken fan. They put on a great show and didn't want my entire wallet for the experience.

The concert industry is hurting right now because most of the national touring acts are on endless farewell tours and still charging for tickets as if this were your last opportunity to see the band. A hundred bones for Bruce Springsteen is kinda steep, and Bon Jovi's business practices trump anything I could think about their music.

So I got to see Joe Satriani for my 6th time and the class half of Van Halen (3rd time) with the crazy drummer from the Red Hot Chili Peppers and had a blast.