Next week my daughter turns ten years old. Yes, I am old enough to have a child from the nineteen-hundreds. Yet I am also fortunate enough to know many educators and fellow parents with children older than mine. Here's my question: What age is appropriate for a child to get their first e-mail address? Vonnie has been asking for a Gmail account for almost a year I've been putting off answering her request for, you guessed it, a year.

Is 10 years old too young? Surely, I cannot be the first parent to receive this request. Your help will be greatly appreciated.

I had a relaxing day at the office today instead of stomping on grandmas, pregnant ladies, and security guards at a store today. I know, I am no fun.

My wife and I are both Mayflower descendants (not from the same guy, GOSH), and we're going to try and have a more authentic Thanksgiving meal by including shellfish with the feast. Some of you have tasted my wife's pies, so even if there is no turkey or shellfish we will be eating well.

The world is a busy place and we do a terrible job of slowing down and having quiet time. Take sixty seconds today to pause and enjoy some silence and be thankful for that moment and everything that has led up to that moment.

We have many road warriors from the office that I sometimes have to support. Today one was having trouble connecting to his wireless router at home. It went something like this:

[Road Warrior]: Hey, I'm having trouble getting my e-mail and on the Internet.

[Me]: Can your laptop see your wireless router?

[Road Warrior]: Yep. But now it wants a password to connect. Should I bring my laptop with me to the office next time?

[Me]: That won't help. Do you have that password?

[Road Warrior]: No. They are pretty secretive in my house.

[Me]: Then you need to tell your wife and kids that no one will get any damn turkey this week unless they give you the password to connect to the Internet connect that you are paying for.

[laughter from my boss over the cubicle wall]

We started a kitchen remodel job in the beginning of October, and it is still going on. But today we finished sealing the grout on the tile floor now our dinning room is free of the fridge and stove. Sure, the fridge was plugged in but the stove wasn't. We went 22 days without a kitchen sink and it wasn't too bad. But 4.5 days without a stove/oven was killing us. Seriously.

The next step is to purchase the wall cupboards. Then we can rip out the old stuff and install the subway tile backsplash. Our kitchen never had an exhaust fan but we will have one when the project is complete. Sometimes it is tempting to have gone in debt for this project, but purchasing parts when we can is working out as we are rich in patience.

Today we are celebrating with martinis!

Does anybody remember when getting, or refusing, an inoculation wasn't a political stand? This morning we had an appointment at the county health department to get our kid's first round of H1N1 vaccine. I read about parents who are struggling with such a decision because of what they've read online or heard on AM talk radio. I laugh when people get their science from non-scientists. So there are people listening to Glenn Beck's concerns over the safety of the H1N1 vaccine, or Jenny McCarthy's claim that some vaccination gave her son autism, or Eddie Van Halen saying that 50 years of chain smoking has nothing to do with his tongue and throat cancers.

So instead of listening to the celebutards I had my children take a snort up the nose in precaution of swine flu. Not because I want to stick it to a particular cable entertainment channel or because the government told me so. I did it because I am a parent that doesn't want my kids to have a few bad days with a certain strain of influenza.

Last Friday the missus arranged for her parents to watch the kids while we go out to celebrate our fourteen year anniversary. Did I take her dancing? Pub crawling? No. I found out on Thursday that Sherman Alexie, my favorite author, would be speaking on on the theme "Indigenous Peoples of the Globe: Colonization and Adaptation." You guys, if he is speaking anywhere near you then you go see him. Start by reading one of his many books right now.

After the discussion we stood in line for a quick handshake and to get a book signed. It was a hella good time.

...I was married to the woman who would become known as The Missus. You guys, that's a long time!

...is an ideologically led show by a 7 month old, which promises to be more coherent than Glenn Beck's show:

...because they are trying to be vampires.

( Halloween pics, anyone? )

Internet, we went 24 days without a kitchen sink. But tonight that all changed and I even transformed our dirty dishes into clean dishes without washing them in the utility tub in the basement. Guys, the dishwashing machine is once again fully operational. Progress is being made. The subway tile backsplash needs to be installed and then we move to tiling the floor. To celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary next month the missus and I might be giving each other secksay cupboards. We're romantical like that.

We were invited to a party scheduled for tomorrow, and when I told our hostess that I'd have to leave early for a gig in downtown Gran' Drapids she decided to have her party proceed to my gig at the appropriate time. She changed her plans so I wouldn't have to miss anything. Guys, how fricken cool is that? The answer: pretty fricken cool.


Also, anyone with the sniffles automatically has H1N1. My children are enjoying a SIX DAY WEEKEND. Yes, they went to school on Monday and the school has been closed ever since. Do I get a refund on tuition for two children and four days? Answer: no.

The kitchen demolition and reconstruction is proceeding. The floor cabinets have been ripped out, replaced, and the marble counter top is almost finished. The back splash will be started soon and then we'll seal the cabinets and tile the floor. Then we'll rip out the cupboards and replace those as well. None of this is news to the FaceBooks people, but now you can see some proof of the missus' and her father's arduous labors:

Here are the pics!

Last week when everyone was attacking the president for winning an award he wasn't seeking we had one of those moments when Pat Buchanan was the lone voice of reason. Though, it might surprise you that it happens more often than you'd think. Pat is part of why I love the MacLaughlin Group.

Have you ever been approached by a coworker about selling AmWay? Let me tell you, there is something worse.

This morning I was going into the 10,000 square foot cooler at work to hit up a sale of items that had to go. As I was walking into the cooler one of the warehouse guys asked me about politics. I live in a heavily conservative area, which means that I am automatically a Commieleftisthippy because I don't adhere to William Kristol's ideology. So the guy asks me if I know about how our president was elected by Wall Street and how Wall Street and the Federal Reserve are running the world. "Hell, they understand money and I don't. More power to them," was my response. Then I was asked if I knew about the Council of Foreign Relations and various other groups identified over the years as bad for America by the John Birch Society and Lyndon LaRouche. He seemed a little crest fallen when I said that I could barely stomach The Obama Deception on YouTube, calling it worse than any Michael Moore hack job. He also start up on some Birther crap saying, "We'll never know where Obama was born." I told him that we know where he was born and that the Republican governor of Hawaii confirms that the president was born in Hawaii. "Well, it's not all resolved," he continued. He looked annoyed when I told him that it had, in fact, been resolved.

So I'm looking for flour tortillas and English muffins in a 40 degree environment and the guy keeps coming back trying to convince me that we're slipping into socialism and that we need to wake up to what's going on. I let him know that America hasn't had pure capitalism since the middle 1800s, but he keeps going on and on, wondering why an otherwise intelligent looking guy such as myself isn't buying it. I as trying to buy refrigerated but had to give up because I was getting interrupted for conspiracy theories.

It was my fault for wearing glasses to look smart.

This advice goes out to all of the fellas and maybe a few of the ladies out there:

see more Epic Fails

Over the past few weeks we've been accumulating pieces for our kitchen. Cupboards, floor tiles, counter top tiles, the will to do this... Anywho, tomorrow we'll begin the demolition. The counters and floor cupboards will get ripped out, and hopefully we'll have a chance to start laying the floor tiles. The missus' father has done whole house restoration/renovation many times and he is helping us with this project.

We still need to stockpile the wall cupboards, but right now our garage cannot hold any more kitchen related items. But that part of the project will be involved enough because the wall cupboards were probably built into the kitchen in the early 1950s. They go all the way to the ceiling and the walls will require much patching before the new cupboards go in. OH JOY.

One of the coolest things to happen in Gran' Drapids since Phil Collins played two nights in a row at the new arena is going on right now. I'm talking about Art Prize. Guys, I am for serious on this.

Yesterday we had a bit of time between a birthday party and seeing a friend's band play (at a non-affiliated Art Prize gallery) to take in some of what is going on. This event is huger than Festival of the Arts and it is actually focused on art. I enjoyed seeing the photography collection entitled "Everyday Wonder Woman." There was a man on stilts in a costume that resembled an Ent going to Mardi Gras advertising for an acrobatic school that is starting up in the area. We saw a life sized whale done in wood and clay in an art gallery. Kinetic sculptures are everywhere. There are huge sculptures in the Grand River and on top of the foot bridges. People, this is super cool.

Check out this news item regarding our own Nessie: